Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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