I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
