??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
her vagine was all disorganized.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
