Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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