If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
