I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
