Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
