oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
