hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
