Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
