he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
