if you like me you must not know who I am
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
