I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I met the friendliest cop last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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