she woke up with a sticky ear
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
