I need help removing her.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
