you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
