goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
