They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
