How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
