Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
