so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
