I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
