so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
