i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
