bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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