Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
