im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
