I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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