Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she smelled like a LAN party
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
