Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
