wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
