If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you would pick up someone in the library
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
