ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
