if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
