Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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