i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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