I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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