shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
