Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
