I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
