Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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