I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
