Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
