I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
