i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
