If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
