My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
