her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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