i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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