You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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