Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
