just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
