Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
