I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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